Okay, so for some reason, I went one day from 219.5, to 217.5, and now I'm back to 221. Annoying as all heck, but... I would've thought that starting back up on a jogging routine would kick my metabolism into gear. I'm on my second week of hundredpushups.com... so either I'm putting on muscle really quick... or my body is just this amazing contraption that processes food to its utmost efficiency. Nah.
It could just be stress; work is hectic, and personal life is stressful; there's nowhere for me to rest, except Sundays at church.
If I stop and think about all the things that are "against" me at the moment... I don't think I'd ever come out of those depths. So I try not to dwell, and just focus on what I need to do, or rather, what I CAN do.
Trying to get rid of debt... you really don't know how much you truly owe until you REALLY try to pay it off; then that Netflix "paltry" fee you pay becomes a chance to PAY OFF a debt.
Trying to sell the house; trying to get in shape; trying to figure out what's going to happen with my marriage... it's enough to make someone depressed.
I feel like a broken man. And you know how, when you break pottery or your favorite mug or what have you, and you try to glue the pieces together, but there's always that WHITE line where you can see where the pieces shattered... that's how I feel; even if I were able to glue my life back together, I'd still see the WHITE scars of pain.
Wow. Depressing post... I'll add one with my "fitness" update and plan for next week, maybe that'll liven up the mood.
Muhidin Farid “Murah Senyum”
9 years ago
2 comments:
Don't feel bad, I went back up a few pounds this week too. Stuff happens.
They just fired someone here for time sheet falsification so my work load went up to cover some of his slack. He was also my partner on a new project I'm supposed to be working. So now I have to do twice the work I would have for the next two weeks before one of my analysts gets back from vacation.
I have a feeling I'll be working this weekend. I have to write a bridge to import users from our user DB into an Active Directory as well as write a membership/role/profile provider for our sharepoint service we're going to be offering soon.
So I'm feeling you on that stress stuff.
Geez. Seems like it's just one of those weeks.
I know all the crap seems to happen at once. I'm sure we could all testify to that.
Just stay focused on the goal. Sometimes it seems like a far-off, unattainable future, but stick to it. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that when I get through all of this crap, I'm going to be able to do something far more valuable and significant than what I'm going through right now. I also think (at least this is what I'm telling myself) that all of the stress I'm going through right now with school, debt, work, losing weight, etc, etc, is merely training me for the stresses of being an officer. Hell, if I can make it through all of this, there's nothing I can't do! :)
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